Trouble in paradise
by hikachu
Summary: On the night after their wedding, Beatrice asks Virgilia about her husband's behavior during her absence. Chaos ensues. Sequel to the Game Master BATTLER TIP; post EP6.


Virgilia smiled warmly as she looked at her former pupil's reflection in the mirror. Beatrice's eyes were shining, and her own lips were curved into a beautiful smile.

"My, my. You certainly look happy tonight."

Beatrice's cheeks turned a faint pink, but her smile only grew wider. It was definitely an unusual sight: the Endless Witch, renowned among the great demons of hell for her cruelty, wearing such a soft expression and blushing like a schoolgirl.

"… I am," she murmured, nodding slowly. "The game has yet to end but… my wish has finally been granted."

"Hohoho. Young love is a most marvelous thing." Gently, Virgilia continued to brush the other's hair as she spoke. "I do admit that I feel a bit nostalgic: once upon a time I was a young witch full of dreams and expectations just like you, after all."

"Mu. Teacher, I am not a child anymore!"

The Finite Witch laughed a little as Beatrice pouted cutely.

"That is true. How many centuries have already passed by since you inherited my title, Beato? You were so tiny and could barely stand on your own legs when I first met you, and now… look at you!, my cute disciple has become a beautiful woman and a wife…" she added, sniffling a little.

"Oh Teacher…"

"It's nothing, do not worry for me, child," she replied, wiping away the tears that had gathered at the corner of her eyes with her sleeve. "At this moment, you should only concentrate on your own happiness. I am sure that Battler-kun will take good care of you."

The blush staining Beato's cheeks grew darker at those words.

"… By the way," she started; her voice was oddly low, almost trembling from the embarrassment, "I wish I could have seen him when he was weaving the new tale for the sixth game. C, Could you tell me something about that time, Teacher?"

It was obvious that Beatrice's mind was entirely focused on the cool side that Battler had shown during the last game: heroically surrendering himself to a life of eternal torture to protect the heart of the woman he loved.

She knew nothing – Virgilia suddenly realized – of what had happened before the game had begun.

"Oh, that. Y, You see… it wasn't an easy task, but in the end Battler-kun managed to write a new story."

Beatrice blinked.

"I know that much. What I mean is…" her voice became a whisper once again, "… did he… miss me?"

"Hoh. H-Hohoho. B, But of course…" And it was true. Too bad that it hadn't been enough to prevent Battler from abusing his power as the new Game Master and creating his own – temporary – harem.

And too bad that the Endless Witch was too smart (and knew her husband too well) not to find her Teacher's behavior somewhat suspicious.

"Is there something I am supposed to know and I'm not currently aware of?"

Virgilia glanced at the other's serious expression – adorable blush and sweet smile gone – and, giving a resigned sigh, decided that lying would have been useless at that point.

---

The morning after the ceremony, Gaap had decided to pay a visit to the newlyweds—

"WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!?!"

—but the tense atmosphere, screams and loud noises that had greeted her inside the mansion had been completely different from what she had expected.

"Goodness, what's going on here?"

At her question, Virgilia turned around, index finger pressed against her lips. The demon blinked and walked closer, only to notice that not only the Finite Witch, but also all of the Seven Sisters and Ronove were standing in the hallway, watching intently whatever was happening in the kitchen.

"Don't tell me you guys are spying on our sweet couple?" she asked teasingly, "My, I didn't expect _that_ from you, Lia~"

"Ohhh! Be quiet! The situation was already terrible enough without y—"

CRASH.

"S-Stop Beato—!"

More screams.

Whatever was going on, Gaap decided, they would need to restructure the room once this ended.

"Ahh, a true lovers' quarrel!" Asmodeus exclaimed in a dreamy tone, eyes sparkling and hands clasped together.

What? They had gotten married only the day before and now they were already fighting? Not that she had believed that theirs was going to be a peaceful relationship. But still.

"Let me explain—!"

"Shut up! I should have known! Men only care about one thing, after all!"

"But I swear, that wasn't what you—NO! Nononono! Not the teapot, please! The water's still ho—_Gyaaah_!!"

In her many, many, many (…) years of life spent playing pranks on and terrorizing humans, Gaap had never heard such a bloodcurdling scream. Both delighted and curious, she finally moved closer to the kitchen entrance.

Inside the room (which looked just like a battlefield), she saw Battler – eyes filled with tears and clothes soaked and _steaming_ – trembling before her best friend.

"I want you to sign these! It's the least you can do!" the witch screeched and threw some papers in his face.

"What… What are these…?" he whispered after a few but long moments.

Of course, he knew: it took him only a glance to understand.

He just… couldn't accept it.

"Those are divorce papers, you illiterate, ignorant fool!"

"I refuse! I won't sign! We got married _yesterday_!"

"Indeed: ours will be the shortest marriage in history! And it just shows what an incompetent husband you are!"

"But Beato, we can't divorce! Think about our children!"

At that, silence fell onto the observers for a long minute.

"Wha… What's this?" murmured an incredulous Virgilia. Gaap could see her trembling. "They had… children…? Before their marriage, they…?"

"Pukukuku. The youth are so precocious nowadays."

"Kyah~ This is so tragic and romantic! I can't wait to meet my own prince~"

"Uwaaa, it's not fair! I wish Kyrie would propose to me, so I could be a bride too!"

"The cookies… Why did they have to throw the cookies? If Beatrice-sama didn't want Ronove's delicious cookies, I would have gladly eaten them…"

Gaap sweatdropped. Had everyone in the mansion gone mad…?

"Kukuku…"

Hearing Beatrice chuckle darkly, everyone turned again towards the newlyweds.

"Hyahahahahaha! You fool! You naïve fool! Kyahahahahaha! Do you truly think that those children are _yours_?"

Battler froze. And stared at her. And stared. And then stared some more.

"Uoooooo!" he cried out, tears running down his face as he pointed accusingly at his (for now) wife. "Repeat that in red, you cruel witch—!"

Okay. Things were getting seriously ridiculous now.

"… I knew that Battler wasn't the brightest crayon in the box," Gaap mumbled, "but too see Riiche playing along… What happened anyway, eh, Lia?"

Silence.

"Lia…?"

"Pukukuku. I believe that the latest, ah, revelations have shocked Madam quite a bit. Perhaps it would be better to move her to the couch or her bed." Still, Ronove simply stood there, laughing quietly at the disjointed whispers of 'back in my day things were different' and 'adultery before marriage' that left Virgilia's lips once in a while.

Sighing, Gaap materialized one of her warp portals beneath the fainted witch.

"Maybe we should leave them alone and take care of Lia,"

It's not that Gaap wasn't interested in the little war that was currently destroying the kitchen, but she didn't want to be turned into a scrap of meat the moment her friend realized that the rest of the household had been watching the lovely debate between her and her husband. Moreover, the fact that this could turn into a chance to play a prank or two on the unconscious Virgilia (making her underwear magically disappear being the first option on the list) made the demon even more eager to leave.

Luckily, as if reading her mind, the others agreed and left the hallway at once in a storm of golden butterflies (except Asmodeus, who had to be dragged away by Lucifer).

Now alone (not that they had been aware of their little audience, though), the couple finally started to calm down. Or, rather, Beatrice was beginning to feel too tired to shout and try to kill her husband by throwing cookware and dishes at him, and Battler had been abused too much to be able to respond to the abuse anymore.

"C'mon Beato," he started, approaching her slowly, carefully, as if afraid that otherwise, she would bite his head off. "Let's make up…"

Beatrice crossed her arms and looked away, frowning.

"If you want a pair of boobs to grab, just go ask your furniture." Of course, in due time, said furniture would pay for this, too. "Kinzo wouldn't even _think_ of _glancing_ at another woman when he was with me…"

Fucking scary, Battler thought, shuddering; this woman had the old geezer whipped.

"I… It's not that, you know. I… I'm sorry. I really, really am. In fact, just for this once, I will apologize as many times as you want."

"… on your knees?"

"What—Wait, wait, I… yeah. But don't tell anyone?"

Beatrice smiled, looked at him. For a moment, Battler was almost hopeful.

"Kihihihi. Sorry, but it's not enough! My dignity and my poor, poor heart have been ruthlessly wounded, you seeeeeee?"

Battler felt his heart sink. The temptation to give up for now was strong, but—No, he couldn't. He didn't want to. After all, this had been something he had fought so hard for… Don't stop thinking, he told himself, don't stop thinking. There must be something—

"Beato!"

"Hmm? Have you finally decided to sign those papers?"

"Never!" A pause. "I, uhm, actually…"

"Yeeees?"

"I will wear that collar again!"

"Hoh?" Her eyes literally lit up at that. "I admit I am _a bit_ interested now…"

"A… A bit…? What else should I…?"

Because if _that_ had failed, Battler didn't really know what could work at that point.

The witch grinned naughtily.

"Well~! There is _something_…"

---

… And so, later that night, Battler found himself blindfolded and tied to the bedpost. He had been unsure and a bit scared of what was going to happen to him at first, but right now, trapped between the pillows and Beatrice's warm, curvy body, he couldn't really complain.

"Be… Beato—!" he moaned, voice filled with lust, "Beato, I'm com—"

"Well, see you later Battleeer~!" she exclaimed, getting off of him quickly.

"Huh?! W-Wait! You can't leave me like this!"

"Hoh? And who decided that?" The witch put on a bathrobe, laughing at her husband who was fighting without success against the chains that bound his wrists together.

"But you can't! It's _inhuman_!"

"Kukuku, but I am not human, so there's nothing wrong with that, riiiiight?"

"Where are you going?!" he asked, hearing the noise of the door opening.

"I'll ask Ronove to bake some chocolate cookies. I'm rather hungry. But don't worry! I'll tell him to come free you in a hour or two!"

"_Beato_—!"

"Have fun in the meanwhile, Ushiromiya Battleeeeer!"

And then Battler heard the door closing, his wife walking away and, with her, any hope that the torture would end soon.


End file.
